The Wisdom of the Desert Fathers
In the rich tradition of the Desert Fathers, a profound conversation between Abba Joseph and Abba Nestir offers timeless wisdom on the struggle to control our speech. The dialogue goes as follows:
Abba Joseph said to wise old man Abba Nestir, "What will I do with my tongue, for I cannot conquer it?"
Abba Nestir, "If you talk will you have relief from this [trouble]?"
Abba Joseph , "Nay."
Abba Nestir, "If then you have no relief when you talk, why dost you talk?"
Abba Joseph, "What will I do? For I cannot stand against it."
Abba Nestir, "Will you have relief then?"
Abba Joseph , "Nay."
Abba Nestir, "If you cannot gain relief by talking, then hold your peace."
This exchange illuminates a key aspect of spiritual discipline: the control of the tongue. Let's delve into the wisdom imparted by this conversation and its relevance for our lives today.
The Struggle with Speech
Abba Joseph's lament reflects a common human struggle the difficulty of controlling our speech. In the Book of James, this issue is vividly described:
"The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell" (James 3:6, NIV).
The tongue, though small, has immense power to influence our lives and the lives of others. It can build up or tear down, bless or curse, heal or harm. Abba Joseph's struggle is a universal one, reminding us of the ongoing battle to tame our tongues.
Seeking Relief Through Speech
Abba Nestir’s questions cut to the heart of the matter. He asks whether speaking provides any relief from the inner turmoil Abba Joseph feels. The answer is consistently "Nay." This reveals an essential truth: often, talking does not alleviate our struggles but can instead exacerbate them.
Proverbs 10:19 (NIV) states:
"Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues."
Talking without purpose can lead to sin, misunderstandings, and conflict. It can intensify our inner turmoil rather than soothe it.
The Power of Silence
Abba Nestir’s advice to Abba Joseph is to "hold your peace." This simple yet profound counsel emphasizes the power and value of silence. In a world where constant communication is the norm, the discipline of silence can be transformative. Silence allows us to reflect, to listen, and to connect with God on a deeper level. Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NIV) reminds us:
"There is a time to be silent and a time to speak."
Learning when to be silent and when to speak is a crucial part of spiritual maturity. Silence can be a source of strength, a way to center ourselves and find peace amid the chaos of life.
Practical Steps to Conquer the Tongue
1. Practice Mindfulness: Before speaking, pause and consider whether your words will bring relief or further turmoil. Reflect on whether your speech is necessary, helpful, and kind.
2. Embrace Silence: Set aside times each day for silence and reflection. Use this time to listen to God and center your thoughts.
3. Pray for Guidance: Ask God for wisdom and self-control in your speech. James 1:5 (NIV) encourages us to seek God’s guidance: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
4. Reflect on Scripture: Meditate on passages that emphasize the power of words and the value of silence. Let these scriptures guide your actions and attitudes.
5. Seek Accountability: Share your struggle with a trusted friend or spiritual mentor. Ask them to hold you accountable and to pray for you as you work on controlling your speech.
Conclusion
The wisdom of the Desert Fathers, as exemplified in the exchange between Abba Joseph and Abba Nestir, offers a timeless reminder of the importance of controlling our tongues. In a world filled with noise and constant communication, the discipline of silence and thoughtful speech is more crucial than ever. By embracing this wisdom, we can find greater peace, improve our relationships, and deepen our connection with God. Let us strive to hold our peace, speaking only when our words will bring relief, healing, and blessing.
