Love vs Hate
“Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred.
In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her”
(2 Samuel 13:15).
2 Samuel 13:1–39 | 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
The tragedy of Amnon and Tamar is one of the darkest narratives in the Bible, exposing the stark contrast between true love and destructive lust. Amnon, King David’s son, claims to be in love with his half-sister Tamar, but his obsession quickly devolves into manipulation, rape, and eventually, hatred. “Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her” (2 Samuel 13:15). What began as passion ended in disgrace and death.
Alexander Maclaren observes, “What he called love was lust, and it changed to loathing as soon as it was satisfied.” In Amnon, we see how sin distorts love—how a heart ruled by self-will and desire can inflict irreparable harm. Tamar, broken and desolate, cries out against this wickedness: “No, my brother! Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel!” (v.12).
David’s silence after the incident is almost as haunting as the crime itself. Though he is angry (v.21), he takes no visible action. His passivity creates a vacuum into which vengeance rushes. Two years later, Absalom exacts retribution by orchestrating Amnon’s murder, further fracturing the royal household.
Eugene Peterson reflects, “Sin doesn’t stay put. It metastasizes—turning intimacy into betrayal, and love into hate.” The chain reaction of lust, violence, silence, and revenge devastates generations. This story warns us that unrepentant sin, no matter how hidden, poisons the soul and infects relationships.
In contrast, Paul describes true love: “Love is patient, love is kind… it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7). Real love, empowered by the Holy Spirit, builds rather than breaks, guards rather than grabs.
Matthew Henry points out, “Those who will not be advised, will soon be undone.” Jonadab’s cunning counsel fueled Amnon’s deceit, and his later silence enabled Absalom’s revenge. In every generation, bad counsel paves the road to ruin.
May we examine our hearts and relationships. Do we seek to possess or to serve? Are we surrounding ourselves with wise counsel, or with those who merely affirm our desires?
Prayer
Lord, may we reject all counterfeit love. Purge our hearts of selfishness, and fill us with love that reflects your Spirit—pure, patient, and kind. Help us to speak truth, seek justice, and walk humbly with You. Amen.
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